Just My Luck!

My work layed me off due to there not being enough kids to keep the after care program running. They gave me and the parents NO NOTICE! They just called me one morning and said they didn't need me to come in that afternoon. I don't qualify for unemployment either since I had only worked two months. Ugh.... just my luck!

Rudolph?

Baby is so excited for christmas that he decided to be Rudolph for the day! Ha ha... okay he really actually hated these antlers but I think he is adorable! And yes he got a treat for me torturing him! ha ha

Surfer Baby!

Baby was a surfer for Halloween and I think he is the cutest dog ever! It took several treats but I finally got these pics of him in his costume. Oh and instead of going trick or treating I hid several doggy treats around the house and he sniffed them out! He does that for Easter too... ha ha!

TWO MONTHS!

I have worked at Sunrise Montessori for two months now! No panic attacks and I have received two paychecks so far! I know that sounds silly to mention but I have not worked anywhere long enough to get more than my first paycheck since my very first job back in 2005!! So this is a milestone for me! It makes me so happy that I have found a job that I am happy at and that does not raise my anxiety level! I am proving to myself that I can keep a job and support myself!

Myspace Countdowns, Halloween Countdowns at WishAFriend.com

PANIC FREE!

I have been at Sunrise Montessori for one month now and I HAVE HAD ZERO PANIC ATTACKS!! It makes me so happy that I have found a job that I can keep and not have panic with! Only fifteen hours a week but that is better than nothing!

Sunrise Montessori

Well if you haven't already heard.... my panic attacks started up again after being at State Trailer for about a month. I have no idea what causes them or how to fix them! So I do what I always do... QUIT. But there is a silver lining in this horrible situation. Heather worked at two montessori preschools and her daytime one offered her full time. So she gave her two weeks notice at Sunrise, her afternoon one, where I have subbed for her before. Well they offered ME the JOB!! I of course took it and it is the ONLY job I have ever had that I don't get panic attacks with. It is only three hours a day, five times a week but that is better than nothing! Thanks Heather and thanks Sunrise!!!

ONE MONTH!

So August 16, 2010 I have been at my job for ONE MONTH! I know that doesn't sound like a long time but it is for me. I am doing good at my job and really like working there. The people I work with are fun and I really like my managers. I still get my anxiety pretty bad but I have been working through it and keep going to work. I can't wait to reach longer milestones.

PARTY!

I now have a rainbow shark, three gouramis-two striped and one not, three mollies-silver lyretail, black, and dalmation, three slugs-orange, green, and blue, two african dwarf frogs, and one live plant!! HOLY COW! I love my new tank and my hobby keeps me busy!

FINALLY!

I have been searching for a job for SO LONG! I applied anywhere and EVERYWHERE! I had tons of interviews and finally one resulted in a job!!!! I start Friday, July 16 at State Trailer: RV & Outdoor Supply in Ogden. I will be a cashier which I have tons of experience doing. I am going to LOVE it! Now I am going to be a responsible ADULT! :) Those bills are gonna be a piece of cake now! HA HA!


*Here is the website if any of you need my new company's services!

www.statetrailer.com/index.php

Double the FUN!

I went to my favorite place the other day: THE DI! I found a twenty gallon aquarium for THREE DOLLARS! In a pet store it would have cost me around $60 or more! I took it home and cleaned it out and made sure it had no leaks. It is in perfect condition! I have always wanted to go bigger than my starter ten gallon tank and now was my chance! My Rainbow Shark is definitely happier in a bigger tank! And now I am going to get a few more fishy friends!

Fishy Friends

Today I bought a Rainbow Shark for my ten gallon aquarium. He is five inches long with a dark colored body and red fins. He is pretty much the boss of my tank! Then I also got a Dwarf Gourami that is orange with blue stripes and fins. He is SO cool looking. They get along quite well and I believe they are all the tank mates I am going to get. Except that they share the tank with my African Dwarf Frog. I might get a few more frogs once I know my fish aren't going to try to have him for lunch!

Under The Sea

Tonight I put my ten gallon aquarium back up. I took it down about six months ago after my filter went out and everything started turning green and mossy. Ha ha. A few days ago I started coming down with fishy fever though so I decided it was time to put it up again. Right now I only have my African Dwarf Frog in my aquarium but tomorrow I am buying a Rainbow Shark. He is five inches long and looks pretty menacing! I am so excited! Hopefully he gets along with the other tank mates I will eventually get him. I'll keep you updated on my fishy friends!

Is there purpose in this chaos?

I have been thinking lately that I don't do much good for this world. I am selfishly existing and don't have much desire to change that fact. I mean is there a purpose to this chaos we live in or are we just suppose to work to make money to support ourselves and then you die...? And even though we might desire a family to care for and someone to love us, what if we don't have the good fortune to achieve those things? I mean what if you are a not so attractive person who doesn't socialize at all? How are you expected to find someone to spend your life with? I don't see why you have to work your butt off just to end up dying and leave your possessions behind! Life seems like an unnecceassary limbo that we must endure.... What is the point? Pain. Heartache. Guilt. What is the point in these feelings if no good is to come on the other side of the bridge?

My Parent's Cruise

My parents went on a cruise and then stayed in Florida for a week. They had tons of fun and went to Disney World and Universal Studios. Here are a few funny pictures I thought I'd share! SMILE! My dad is such a goof! Gotta love him!!

Pure Fun

I went bowling with my parents on a friday night.... YIKES! Ha Ha. But I completely enjoyed myself! I kicked my dad's butt and loved teasing him about it. Bowling again reminded me of how much I truly love to bowl! They have a great deal right now on summer leagues and I am FINALLY going to join! No more putting it off because I will be bowling without Kevin or because I don't want to socialize. I am going to milk this league for all the enjoyment I can get out of it!! I deserve to enjoy myself again.

Rainbow after your storm

When you think you are at your lowest and it won't stop storming on you... just remember that storms bring rainbows. Today I was feeling especially horrible for myself and it was even raining to match my mood. I was driving down the road absorbed in my "pity me" thoughts when I looked over and there was a beautiful rainbow. It helped me to try to put my hard times into perspective. I took a picture so that I'll always have a rainbow with me to get me through my storms!

To Bowl Or Not To Bowl, That Is The Question

For a long time now I have wanted to join a bowling league. I absolutely LOVE to bowl and I thought that joining a league would help me to quit isolating myself. But I just haven't done it yet.... I am not sure what is stopping me. Maybe because that was what Kevin and I did on our first date.... So sharing it with anyone else would hurt too much. But I believe that you should share what you love with those that you love! So anyone who wants to go bowling with me.... LET'S GO!!

FREEDOM!

I don't want to go into much detail over this but I wanted to let everyone know that after almost FIVE years, Kevin and I are completely done! We have had no contact for almost two weeks and it is so refreshing. You don't realize how trapped you feel until you are freed. After being abused for that long it is a little scary being without the bruises and cruel words.... I have a lot of healing to do but I am glad that the healing can FINALLY begin. Thank you for every one's help and support through this hard time in my life. I know that I isolated myself while being with Kevin but I am excited to get myself back in the thick of things!

Exercise or Torture?!

Well, as most of you know I have been going to the doctor for my thyroid. Now my doctor has referred me to a specialist. I have learned that I got an auto-immune disease that told my body to produce a very high number of an antibody. Most people have below ten of this antibody. My body has 137! Well, this antibody then attacked my thyroid as if it were a foreign enemy. Now my thyroid is destroyed and I have to take medicine to act as my thyroid. The disruption of my thyroid functioning properly has caused me to gain around 80lbs. I HATE how I look now and do not feel like myself. The specialist has me counting calories and exercising at least an hour each day. I have learned that I despise walking on a treadmill! HA HA. So I am taking up bicycling. I bought a ten speed mountain bike and put a very comfy bike seat on it. Wish me luck on this new addition to my exercise routine!

Baby's Barber Shop Visit

Baby was getting so hairy I couldn't keep the fur picked up! So off to PetSmart Grooming we went...! He looks so little now and very clean cut. He is of course adorable! And he is such a good boy for the groomers. When I call to make an appointment the groomers all request to groom him! I am a proud mama!

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all of those moms out there! I must say that I include myself among them... I am mama to my dog, Baby! I am so glad he is in my life and he makes me even happier each day. To let you know how I came about having a dog... I found Baby roaming around a busy road, that was under construction, three years ago. I got him to come to my car and I took him straight to the Wal-Mart to buy him some food and water. He had to have been wandering for a while, he was covered in dirt and sticker burrs that were all the way to his skin! I went to the vet to have him checked out and he was in great health.... even neutered! I knew he had to be someone's pet so I checked with Animal Control for two weeks but he was never reported missing. I even looked for flyers around the area that I found him and farther away since he had been walking for who knows how long. I never found anyone looking for him and so I adopted him! I named him Baby Boy, Baby for short. He is just like a child to me and I love him with all of my heart! I can't picture life without him. So Happy Mother's Day to ME! :)